Always playing dress up.

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When I’m not working out, updating instagram, playing with my son, or making little posts for my blog– I work at this nail salon called “Nail Pro”. I’ve done nails for a solid 8 years now (typical vietnamese girl, I know. Spare me the jokes!) and one of the perks of doing this job is seeing the local fashion statement that goes in and out of the salon. You have the wannabe jersey shore guidettes, you’ve got the hood rat hooped earring mamas, you have the conservative sweater tied over the shoulder, you’ve got the crop top– You name it and I’ve seen it. With the summer here, I noticed that every group share a common love for dresses. In my opinion, for a day time look, I want a dress that can be flowy and had a nice open back. I love an itty bitty waste with a slightly poofy bottom. This dress I borrowed from my sister: it fitted weird so I tied it at the top.

What is your go to dress?
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ImageWhat I’m wearing:
Dress: Francesca’s
Jewelry: Alex and Ani
Shoes: Pink n Pepper

 

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Martha’s Vineyard, you were divine!

ImageAnyone ever been to Martha’s Vineyard? I’ve lived in Massachusetts my whole life and only been there twice!…TWICE. How sad. It’s only a 20 min ferry ride away. I have no excuses besides my parents never taking me. I took a short day trip out there with some of the people in my Unit to have breakfast (we fancy, huh?) at Linda Jean’s. It was nice little place with delicious food. For Martha’s Vineyard, it was pretty decent priced. They also serve mimosas, FYI. The best part of all, I got to spend the day with my best friend/lifting partner. So Martha’s Vineyard, CHECK!ImageImage

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Summertime Happiness

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 I have been slacking off a lot this summer but that’s because I have been so so SO busy with life. I’ll spare you the boring details but I think it’s time we get back into this, don’t you? This summer is strictly dedicated to just enjoying life. I want to try to live stress free and enjoy my two days off a week. Follow me each week as I adventure through various parts of Massachusetts and surrounding states (most likely with my son!)  I will also be talking a lot about fitness because I have been working hard at the gym and I would love to share it with you all. The key to success is to have constant motivation, and I get that from blogging. Send ideas on what you would like me to write about at promisesofcoffee@gmail.com or follow me on instagram at promisesofcoffee or my fitness instagram at FitCLe Image Today’s trip was to Horseneck Beach in Westport, MA. The sand was warm and quite nice between the toes. The temperature today was 79 with a breeze. It was not warm enough to stay in the water long but it was a lovely day to soak up some vitamin D! If you’re really bored, you can just sit back and totally people watch. I do that 99% of the time because I get bored very easily and always looking around for entertainment. Today, there was spanish music playing and a kite flown by no one. I saw someone shove their friend and I watch people litter. Got to spend some time with my friend and relax. The picture on the bottom was taken by him and it was inspired by the lovely Lauren Conrad. #trendsetter! ImageImage

Dream Window

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#JointhePAK 

My friend and I recently started this club/movement called PAK, which stands for “Positivity and Kindness”. Our purpose is to show that with very little efforts you can make a positive imPAKt (punny, much?) on the lives of others through simple acts of kindness. It’s very simple. To be a member, all you have to do is perform an act of kindness and BOOM—welcome to the WolfPAK (seriously, I am here all night)! The point of our club is to bring people together to do positive activities to help push kindness forward. Grey’s Anatomy was right on the money with their season finale when Kempner said, “we live in a world where something goes wrong and we automatically think it’s a terrorist act.” It’s a scary and cruel world out there: filled with crazy, deceitful, and misguided douchebags. It’s hard to pay attention to all the wonderful little things in life. Our first PAK thing was joining in the Free Hugs movement, which was AWESOME! A few weeks ago, fellow PAK members decided to start a “dream window painting” which is an event that involved students taking window marker and writing their hopes and dreams. We learned somewhere that people are 50% more likely to achieve their goal if they wrote it down (thanks, Sahil) – so we passed it on. That’s the great thing about PAK is that we promote positive acts. Here are some photos from our event. Video will be coming soon!!

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Spread Positivity and Kindness

FREE HUGS for the Degenerate Beauty Queens

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To quote Lana Del Rey, we are a bunch of “degenerate beauty queens”. It’s unfortunate that our generation is so warped into this dehumanizing way of life. We live in a world where we give people weird looks when they wave to us or think someone is being creepy when they’re just smiling. You let a car go in front of you and, 89% of the time, you don’t even get a thank you’ wave. We spend more time on our phones than we do having an actual face to face conversation. When was the last time you started a conversation with a stranger? If you go into a doctors office nowadays, all you see is everyone on their phones. I think the lack of verbal and physical human interaction has caused us to become these stuck-up Miranda Priestly (Devil wears Prada [Meryl Streep’s character, the snobby bitch]), where it’s all business, all the time. I was becoming this Miranda-Priestly-zombie until I went to the NCSL leadership conference in Arlington, VA and met some amazing people. One of them is Tom Krieglstein (I had to google his last name because I definitely butchered that!), who was the MC of our conference. He brought the FREE HUGS campaign to our attention and it really sparked something inside of me.
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ImageHe showed us this video that shows a man walking around with a sign that says, “Free Hugs” and him walking around hugging strangers.  I got a bit emotional watching it because I thought to myself, “how sad is it that there are not more people like this out there?” I turned to my gal pal, Sarah and said “THIS IS MAKING ME SO EMOTIONAL!” After hearing the story of Juan Mann, it didn’t take much to get me on board, nor did it take much to get my fellow student senates to join in as well.

ImageWhile we were waiting for the time to board our flight, we spent an hour walking around and holding the “FREE HUGS” signs and this was the reaction we received:


This inspired me to start this club with my friend called, PaK which stands for “Positivity and Kindness”. Our mission is to show that with very little efforts, you can make a positive imPAKt [punny!] on lives through simple acts of kindness. Movements such as FREE HUGS, cost nothing but you can see from the video that this made a lot of people smile. The world is already cruel enough. If more people went out there and tried to make it a better– then maybe people wouldn’t be so bad. This also motivated me to donate my birthday for a cause that is very near and dear to my heart. Pencils of Promise is something that I believe in because I see education as an absolute necessity in changing the world. Some people don’t share my views but I truly feel that if everyone is educated than there would be less ignorance and therefore better judgement. Who knows, there could be a child out there who will be able to cure aids one day, or a child who will one day become a leader that says NO to war–all that child need is an education. You can totally support this effort, and give me the best birthday present in the whole entire world by donating here.

Follow PaK on twitter : @jointhePAK

So what if I don’t like my kid?

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Before any of you sanctimonious people jump down my throat, let me just begin by saying that I love my son more than anything in this whole entire world. However just because I love him does not necessarily mean I have to always like him. I say this with heavy heart because no one wants to feel this way. Naturally, I would all like to enjoy every aspect of motherhood all the time. I would like to think that I could be Supermom and tackle everything that is thrown my way…but I’m not and I can’t. I am a single mother who is balancing two jobs while going to school full time and dealing with a child who is going through his terrible twos too early. Due to the overwhelming stress with being able to maintain balance, I often find myself on the brink of cracking when my son decides to throw a temper tantrum in the middle of the grocery store—kicking, screaming, biting, etc. Or when he uses my waterproof mascara to color my beige walls. Or when he decides to rip pages of my books (my most prized possessions) that I have yet to read. Or when he simply wants to cry for two hours straight—and doesn’t want to be held or talked to. I really mean this when I say, that you really don’t know the depth of your love for your child until you know what it’s like to dislike (and dare I say, hate) them but still care for them. In other words, they’re still here, alive and breathing even though you may have pictured killing them or giving them away.

I am human and I would like to think that by admitting the fact that I don’t always enjoy being a mom is pretty brave because we live in a society that holds very little empathy for this sort of confessional. Let me assure you that this is not synonymous with me regretting to have my son because I don’t. I would never trade my son for anything. This is just me being honest with myself, and allowing myself to feel what I feel in this very moment.

For a while, I have been reluctant with admitting to even my closest friends and family that sometimes I just hate being a mother. I hate it. It’s hard! Especially when I’m doing it alone. I was afraid to share that with people because I know the look I would get: that condescending stare that leaves me feeling embarrassed and useless. It’s as though I’m weak by admitting that being a mom can be overwhelmingly stressful at times. It didn’t help when I decided to openly express my misery at work and this woman said, “I could never understand how mothers can say that they don’t like their children. I love being a mom!” Mind you, this woman is at the nail salon getting her nails done without her kids. It must be nice to have that time for yourself, isn’t it? Don’t get me wrong; I see nothing wrong with mothers taking time for themselves (I highly recommend it!), however don’t tell me that you love being a mom all the time when you’re at the nail salon, alone. This is the type of attitude that makes other moms feel bad for not having that perfect American Cookie-cutter lifestyle. It makes them feel like they’re horrible parents when in actuality they’re just normal. My favorite is when someone suggests that you are simply being ungrateful when others would kill to have a child and can’t. That really chaps my ass because it’s entirely unfair to think that just because someone has a child, and others can’t, that they are not allowed to feel like crap sometimes. That’s unnecessary pressure to put on someone! It’s not fair to pass judgment on others when you have no idea what is going on in their life.

However, I digress.

The point of this is to say that I find it sad how little people empathize with mothers who admit their feelings. This is why some people internalize it because they don’t want to feel judged and get called things like “ bad mom” when that is not the case at all. This may be why some parents do eventually break because they don’t speak up when they’re overwhelmed. You can only bottle up so much before you crack. I think it’s perfectly okay to admit when it’s hard and to maybe get some support from others. Even if you just vocalize your feelings, you’ll feel better. Anything is better than to just keep it all inside, getting depressed and then go crazy. I know for me, when I feel like I’m about to literally about to go crazy psycho—I vent to my friends, or write a humorous Facebook status to lighten the mood, or just scream in my room by myself. Admitting and sharing does not make me a bad mother this is my antithesis to psychotic. Motherhood is not always going to be pretty, and you’re not always going to be happy– BUT THAT’S OKAY! It’s okay because I know I’m not alone when it comes to feeling this way and if you’re a mom who is reading this and have felt this way – please know that you are not crazy, you’re normal.

Meet my son when he’s throwing a tantrum:

 Child’s logic on loving and liking:

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Pictures via Google.

Santa, I swear I’ve been good this year!

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I’ll most likely never get anything from this list because

1. No

2. Wouldn’t blow that much money on half those things.

3. don’t have the money otherwise I would.

4. James Franco looks promising though.

Haha, just kidding on the Franco but a girl can certainly dream!

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